thoughtsandthings...2/2 the truth series pt. 2 (wife)

I'd always dreamed of getting married when I was younger.
I was never sure that I would.
I just knew that I wanted it.
I was never sure of how to 'be' married.
I had no example.
There weren't any successful marriages before me.
I just wanted it.

I'm fortunate.
I married a man that I like.
A man that likes me.
A man that no matter how crazy I look,
or what crazy thing I say,
still finds me sexy. smart. pretty.
I'm still his 'ol' lady.
But make no mistake marriage is work. Hard ass work.
The hardest work besides graduate school
and raising kids that I've ever had to do.

I think of marriage as a merging of 'stuff'.
Like moving into a house together.
Your 'stuff' packed in the box.
His 'stuff' packed in the box.
You don't know how much
or even what KIND of stuff is in his box
until you actually move it all in and start unpacking.
That's when the real fun begins.

Who knew that his clothes wouldn't quite make the hamper
and always end up on the floor NEXT to the hamper?
Who knew that he'd leave the freshly cleaned bathroom not so freshly clean. Often.
Or that he'd bring back exactly what I didn't want from the grocery store.
But who knew that I could be particular. a particular princess,
who REALLY loves to have her way.
It's a compromise for sure.
But it is a beautiful thing.
A sacred thing when you have the right person.

Marriage certainly has benefits.
You always have a date.
Sex is usually available.
And most important for me, I don't have too go far to get a hug.

There's a way to be a wife.
And I'm still learning.
Learning a great deal about my husband
and even more about myself.
I'm learning the art of sharing. listening.
I'm learning to pick my battles.
Not to say everything that I think.
And that sometimes keeping the peace
is more important than winning the war.

Do I sometimes want to curse him out in 5 different languages?
Do I sometimes look at him and say to myself 'What was I thinking?'
Do I fantasize about what life would be like with Miami Heat's Dwayne Wade?
Do I sometimes long for my single life when I didn't have a care in the world?
Absolutely!
But I'm a realist.
I know that the grass isn't greener on the other side.
It's just grass.
Would I want to be married to anybody else? No.
Who else could I fight at 5pm and love (hard) at 5:02pm?
Who else would I still call 'baby' in a heated argument?
I rarely call my husband by name.
I know that I'm married to my dude.
The dude that fits me.
The dude that loves me even when I'm not loving myself.

7 years and two beautiful boys later,
I'm still learning how to be a wife. a better wife. a better me.
And we're growing and learning and fighting and making up and loving together.
And that's what's up.