When I first heard about what happened between you and Chris,I have to admit that initially I wasn't on the
'Chris Brown is a horrible person bandwagon.'
I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.
I needed to hear the whole story.
I didn't want to rush to judgement.
However, since the police report has surfaced,
my opinion has changed.
I still do not think that he is a horrible person. I just think that he is a person that needs serious help.
The report was difficult to read.
He then drove away in the vehicle and continued to punch her in the face with his right hand. While steering the vehicle with his left hand. The assault caused Robyn's mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter all over her clothing and the interior of the vehicle.
Rihanna, woman are being abused everyday.
But, unlike you, no one knows their names.
You have a great opportunity to stand for all those women,
those sisters who don't have a voice.
You have a real opportunity to show them what to do.
To encourage them. To show them the steps to get out.
This is so important.
There's a 16 year old girl somewhere that admires you,
that cannot hear the voice of her mother,
and she's being beaten by her boyfriend.
Tell her what to do.
Show her the way.
I know that you and Chris are very young.
And I know you're thinking that I don't understand.
He's a really nice guy.
He just lost his temper.
He really didn't mean it.
You love him. He loves you. And usually it's all good.
I want to tell you that love isn't supposed to hurt.
And that he can't love you if he doesn't love himself.
He doesn't love himself, Rihanna.
He doesn't love himself.
You probably see him as a prize.
He's handsome. Rich. Famous.
He's Chris Brown!!!
But what is that going to mean when you're not here anymore?
When you become a statistic? An E True Hollywood Story?
I want to ask you where's your mother?
What are the people around you saying?
I read that your father supports your decision to stay with Chris.
I don't know your father. Hell, I don't know you.
But I do know that if the people around you are dependant
on you financially then they're probably going to tell you
exactly what you want to hear.
Look at Michael Jackson.
I want to end by saying that you are not alone.
It is not your fault. You have nothing to be ashamed of.
You're probably too young to know this story in it's entirety.
But I want you to, when you get a chance, google Nicole Brown Simpson.
She was in love too.
She thought he was a prize.
And she stayed too long.
She left finally...but...well you have to read the rest.
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TDD)
19 comments:
Job well done. You've captured the thoughts of many. I wish this open letter could be seen by millions who need to read it.
i hope she reads this, lisa.
Great article Lisa. The police report was heart breaking. Have you seen some of the comments from some of these preteens who actually support him. Saying she deserved it! Makes me wonder who these kids are and what in the world is going on in their heads. I think she should really take a stand. However it seems unlikely at this point since they are "hanging out" together again. Hopefully they'll both get help before one of them ends up gone.
Lori-Ann
Lisa,
I am with you. I reserved judgement for the story to come out. And I hate that it was worse than I thought. I hate that this is probably not the first time she's been scared shitless. That she made a fake call to her assistant says so much. She didn't really want to get him in trouble, she just wanted to stop him from hitting her.
But I think that the reason they are still together is an attempt to preserve some part of Chris's career. I don't think they're completely making all of these choices. They both need to go on campaigns for the end of domestic non-violence.
I pray for them both. And I pray for all of the women and men who have this same story.
I really enjoyed your article but I have to admit I was one of those people who did not reserve judgement for the report. Chris Brown's grew up in an abusive household and this is what he's learned. Having grown up in such a background myself, men are twice as likely to replicate that behavior as they get older and no one has ever done anything to lower those statistics. He may be young, but this is how he's always going to treat women. Unless he has counseling for like twenty years. Rihanna is going to protect him because she knows someone is ready to step in and take her place just because he's famous. This is also what he probably tells her on a daily basis to keep her insecure. This is going to have a bad end. Just prepare yourselves. Surprised you didn't mention Tina Turner, at least she had a career. Nicole Brown Simpson stayed because of the money not because of love or career.
And even more important than being that role model, you have a great opportunity to love yourself more than you love another, to be selfish and look out for #1, to feel the deep pain of that love you have lost (& i know it hurts to the CORE), and reveal itself in your music, songs that will make us cry with you. You have the chance to be better, stronger, fiercer, than you ever were before. But, first, you must leave.
I too reserved jumping to conclusions. I know how the media gets it twisted. I'm such a skeptic, I wouldn't even give full credit to the photo, not being certain if it was photoshopped. And coming from a family in the legal field, I KNOW that police reports get it wrong too. I wanted to hold out hope b/c Chris Brown is/was so talented. Handsome and innocent-looking. He doesn't look like an abuser. He doesn't look like Ike Turner. Maybe it was a misunderstanding?
Nope. It was an evil family history, repeating itself. So cliche. So tragic.
I wish that you could get this to her!!!!
My eyes are filled, Lisa. So heartfelt. I too had a paradigm shift when I saw the picture and when I heard the report read aloud. It became so much more real, so much more painful. Thank you for writing this. Women all over the world need to know their value and need to learn that we must teach others how to treat us - period.
Trisha
We need to pass this letter on to as many girls as we can!
Lisa, this should be seen by everyone. I agree with everything you said.
"There's a 16 year old girl somewhere that admires you,
that cannot hear the voice of her mother,
and she's being beaten by her boyfriend."
this is the line that got me - made me wanna weep, cuz I know it's true. All I can do is hope that the 16 year looks at Rhianna and says "I don't want this for my life"
I loved your letter...
I couldn't believe this when I first heard about it. Abuse of any kind should never be ignored ~ no matter what your social status is. I hope they both do the right thing and seek counceling whether they stay together or not. And, I hope she becomes be an advocate for other young abused victims ~ especially in the black community. This is going to be a tough road ahead for both of them!
Lisa, WOW! Great advice, I only wish she could hear you. Not saying anything bad about Chris Brown, because that is the first thing we want to do is label him...like you said, he's only doing what he knows...a good guy caught in a bad situation where violence is the only way he knows to solve his problem. I know this face, I know his story, I know his character...I know he needs help. I know what it's like to STAND by your man and I know what it's like to be a fool in love. Rhianna needs help, too. Because until she understands who she is and who she was created to be...not what the fans have made her, but her true mission in life, she will stay bound to this "good guy that's a product of his environment". I pray for them both...and I know that God can take any situation meant for evil and turn it around for His GLORY! So I pray that God gets the Glory, even in this situation.
Dude,
you were so RIGHT about this whole situation..... lol
Now someone needs to write a letter to Rihanna's father who told the press in an interview that he has chosen to support her in what ever decision she makes.
I'm sure he then turned to another reporter and asked "What time the bank closes?"
What neglect and disregard for your own beautiful little girl! He really needs his ass whooped and his arms bit up, real good.
Great piece Lisa. Both of them really ned prayer.
you make me cry
I have to pass this to my battered friend. She thinks Chris Brown deserves a second chance :(
Hey, Lisa. Got a chance to check out your blog. Great writing. Your letter to
Rihanna was so bright. I hope somewhere along the line she actually does get
the comparison to Nicole Brown Simpson. That might strike a chord.
The police report was rough. As a vocalist and musician, I was such a Chris Brown fan (have you heard his version of "This Christmas"?
Just...oh!). I can't look at him the same now. I know it's just that his shortcomings are posted out there for the world to see...if mine were, people probably wouldn't be able to look at *me* the same as the day before a screw-up either. :-) It's just so hard to read about the beating she took. The deep "mean" in it was just...amazing. The
"losing-it-in-the-moment" is more understandable than the length of
time that seemed to elapse. Anywho, prayers to them both and to you -- "great writing". Thanks for sharing it.
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